Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Fresh Clips

Ah 2007's films.

They can't all be garbage. Here's a few gems. For the optimists out there.

All two of you.

These are the films that you won't see on the next Academy Awards.

These are the films that you borrower from the internet because your local theater doesn't play indie flicks.

Not that you'd pay the 10 dollars to see them anyway.

Grab a few rounds, the gun commands it.


Sun Shine


Danny Boyle is a criminally underrated director. This movie is flying way under the radar so far, which tends to be a bad sign for a film. But Danny rarely disappoints, although he’s not afraid to leave an audience in the dust. A commendable attribute considering most contemporary directors are hell-bent on spoon feeding their viewers.

If you hear the phrase "mankind faces extinction",within the first four seconds of a trailer, you can bet the movie will at least be more interesting than The Queen.


Angel A

Luc Besson is a French legend. The man is responsible for a slew of dark, hip and violent films including The Professional, The 5th Element and The Messenger.

Benson’s jumped aboard the nu-noir movement, shedding colors and frills in a return to his home country.

If you enjoy blonds with epic legs- than you're into this movie.

And if you don't enjoy blond's with epic legs, it may be time to ask yourself a few tough questions.


Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon The Movie For Theaters

It’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force the Movie.

If there's anything to say about this flick, that isn't addressed in its title or in the damn movie poster - Christ look at that poster.



The Host

Horror/comedy hybrids are in. Like Shaun of the Dead.

If you like monsters, fumbling Asians and monsters, you'll probably enjoy this film. And even if you're not into any of those things you'll probably still enjoy it.

This is because The Host is a Korean film and for those of you following contemporary film, Korea is pummeling the sin out of the rest of the world, in terms of cinematic quality.

Honestly, Bong Joon-ho is the business. The fucking business.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Dirty Frank Goes To the Grammys

So… didja enjoy the Grammys? If you answered yes to that question, consider sterilization.

What the FUCK was that nonsense? Now, don’t get me wrong – I didn’t go into this “awards” show with any preconceived notions. I knew it was going to suck hard enough to leave teeth marks. I just didn’t know that it was going to draw blood as well.

Let’s start with the less egregious shit and work up to the heavy stuff. Carrie Underwood wins multiple Grammys. Great. Thanks, Recording Academy. You’ve now just encouraged American Idol producers for years to come, sentencing those of us who love real music to die a slow death by listening to the opinions of borderline retards (otherwise known as the American Idol viewing audience). Fuck you very much.

What do we have next? Oh, I see that Wolfmother was awarded a Grammy. I really hated them the first time I heard them… when they were called Jet. For a band that cites Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath as influences, these guys sure do share nothing in common with them. Wait, I’m pretty sure they breathe air… and that’s it. Jimmy Page and Ozzy Osbourne must be rolling over in their graves right now. Shit, that’s right… they’re not dead yet. They must not have had the pleasure of listening to Wolfmother’s album this year.

The Roots, the best hip-hop band in music today, is nominated for Best Rap Album and they lose. To Ludacris. If I really loved hip hop, I’d be even more pissed than I already am. I remember seeing a Ludacris video one time where the effects made his head look really big – then I realized that he does actually have a really big fucking head. And no talent.

I’ve saved the best for last. Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” was the best single of 2006. Bar none – end of story. It was at the top of, by my calculations, 47,587 year-end top singles lists and was one of the most genre-spanning hits in recent memory. I don’t know of anyone who DIDN’T like this song. Shit, even my grandmother would have liked it… you know, if she was still alive and all (God rest her soul). So it should be a shoe-in for Record Of The Year, right? Right?!

Uh… no. The Dixie Chicks steal that “honor” with “Not Ready To Make Nice.” Well, apparently Natalie Maines must have managed to pull off this travesty by using her Muppet-sized mouth to “make nice.” Has anyone actually heard this fucking song? ‘Cause I think the answer’s probably no. On top of that, they also manage to win Song Of The Year as well as Album Of The Year. You know, because when I think of the best of music in 2006, I think of The Dixie Bitches. What. The. Fuck. I just… there are no other words. I’m spent.

Wanna hear my New Year’s Resolution for 2008? I’m gonna track down the Academy voters, trap them in a hotel conference room by barring the exits with their canes and walkers, and release the fucking Bubonic plague on them. History will paint me a hero. I’m sure of it.

Anyway, lesson learned, kids. If you’re smart enough to avoid watching the actual awards show, be strong enough to avoid reading the “winners” list the next day. Don’t make the same mistake I did. You’ll thank yourself later.

Friday, February 16, 2007

The Proposition was one of the best movies of 2006

The Proposition is fluid, gorgeous humanity in motion. And so it is a delicate orchestra of human torment.

Specifically, this is an earthen piece of tattered, cruel, cinematic poetry. The celluloid hisses and crackles with the sort of dust and grit that Hollywood fanatically filters out of their sterile products. And yet this is a movie that relishes in the hoarse and scraping dialogue of sun baked, wind scorched characters that are such a pure and true breed, that their every action upon the screen is some sort of bloodthirsty frontier prose. There is a level or coarse reality to this movie that is stunning in its violent majesty.

No one makes movies like this anymore. No one remembers that movies like this were ever made.

But they were, and this film is a glorious homage to a different, older school of pictures. The Proposition is a nod to the movies that defined the archetypes we take for granted; the grim and worn heroes of bygone eras who stood alone, not only against a world that wanted them dead, but a howling voice deep inside of themselves that wanted very much the same thing.

There is a vicious, saturnine beauty to this thing that strains the dull and lifeless conformity that contemporary movie-goers have grown accustomed to. In a world of warmed, sweet, creamy milk The Proposition is a straight shot of whiskey that singes and smokes its way down the dry canals of your throat.

Elite Opinion gives this film 5 out of 5 bullets.

Monday, February 12, 2007

This week Elite Opinion's spinning...

La Rocca/ The Truth
Keep an eye on Dangerbird Records. After releasing one of 2006’s best album, Silversun Pickups’ Carnavas, the small Hollywood label delivers yet again. Ireland’s La Rocca bring the pop shit on their 2006 full-length debut, The Truth. Sharing some characteristics with their countrymen The Thrills, La Rocca touches on everything from straight up pop (“This Life” and the Coldplay-esque “Goodnight”) to Exile On Main Street-ish country-blues (“The Truth” and album closer “Capitol Pill”). Top it off with the album’s best track, “Non-Believer,” and you’ve got a band that’s worth keeping tabs on.

[THE ‘SPACE] La Rocca
[HOME] La Rocca