Thursday, January 18, 2007

Elite Opinion says that sometimes, dreams really do come true

So if you're into fantasy literature or any sort of literature...ingredients labels, license plates... whatever, by now you should know that George R.R. Martin isn't just a big deal, he's the whole deal.

The man is internationally acclaimed as the single greatest living author of fantasy.

And we're not disputing.

So when HBO bought the rights to Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, you could pretty much hear every nerd on the planet shit his or her pants. And that's because if there was ever any hope that Martin's series could be faithfully transfered onto the screen, it would have to be through a channel like HBO.

Variety reported yesterday that series is to be written and executive produced by David Benioff (the moron who produced Troy) and some dude named D.B. Weiss. You can find the complete article here.

And you can read Martin's own announcement on his site here.

But let's take a look at the logistics of this announcement and play a little Good News , Bad News.


-HBO has the best programming on the planet. Period.

-This will not be an abridged version. At least not massively abridged; every book is being portrayed throughout one full season of the show. That means 12 eps for a book at about a full hour each

-Martin is a huge fan of HBO and has hailed many of its shows as the best on TV. And he's right. So this guy knows his shit. (Martin's called Deadwood the best show on the air - and where else have you heard that claim..?)

-This is one of the few instances in which an author's works are being adapted to screen- while the author is still breathing. This tends to cut down on the raping of one's works. Theoretically.


-You probably spend more money grocery shopping than HBO spends on their shows.

-David Benioff shouldn’t be allowed to produce skits at summer camp, let alone another epic period piece. (How do you fuck up The Illiad?!?)

-The production on the first season of this show will probably run at least 2-5 years.

-D.B. Weiss is – uh. Wait, who the fuck is D.B. Weiss?

-George is writing one script a season. Yippee.

-Just because HBO bought the rights to this show, doesn't mean it will ever see the light of day. All too many projects get past the bidding table, but never onto the screen.

-George spends most of his free time eating pizza, going to comic conventions and touring... let's just say there's an Olympic sized death pool in full effect...

And finally, there is absolutely, positively, no chance in a fiery hell, that this series could be half as good as the books. Of course, even still, it'll probably be one of the greatest TV shows of all time.

Ultimately few literature adaptations are as exciting and laden with raw potential as this.

Grab your chainmail Timmy, cause kids, this is the big one.


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