Thursday, December 07, 2006

Elite Opinion Calls Bull Shit


“Make no mistake: Hell Hath No Fury is a major event.”

Or so claims The Village Voice, the ‘Voice then moves to support that claim by ignoring it.

Click To View Original Article

Apparently this publication is willing to let its readers fill in the blanks. So let’s try:

Is Hell Hath No Fury a major event because it’s the best album The Neptunes have ever produced?

Ah no. Kelis, Ol’ Dirty, Mystikal amoung many others, all have equally impressive- if not superior collaborations to boast.

SO is the release of this album a major event because Clipse’s Pusha and Malice are breaking new lyrical ground?

Well, there’s lots of talk about cars, jewelry and unmatched MCing prowess – so no.

But maybe Hell Hath No Fury is a major event because the VA boys have made a radical departure from their old sound and have moved into new experimental waters that will finally rejuvenate the stagnant rap game?

Uhh,

“The wool is removed and now I see
My leg was pulled, the joke’s on me
So heartbreaking, like loving a whore
Might hurt you once, but never no more
It’s like trying to fly, but they clipping your wings
And that’s exactly why the caged bird sings”

Writing that cliché and vapid couldn’t rejuvenate a 2nd grader’s book report, let alone the hideously diseased rap genre.

Let’s be honest, this album is an event because it was finally released. And after nearly 4 years of delays, I suppose that is an event. But so is getting syphilis from a fat hooker, that don’t make it worth celebrating.

The ‘Voice does manage to make one substantial justification for its fawning, “Clipse run circles around major rap fourth-quarter competition (e.g., Snoop, Nas, and Jay-Z).”

What The Village Voice omits so deftly is that Clipse can’t run circles, squares, octagons or any other geometric shape around 2006’s other rap releases from artists like The Roots or Ghostface Killa.

This sort of unfounded and gratuitous hyping confirms what we’ve been saying for years: publications that primarily review indie-rock music (read: white music) should not be allowed to review rap albums. It’s just embarrassing.

Oh the other hand, a publication that sports a handgun as its logo- yeah, we’re qualified.

“Make no mistake: Hell Hath No Fury is a major event.”

The ‘mistake’ is yours chump.


1 Comments:

Blogger Andrew said...

XXL gave it an XXL. While it doesn't deserve that, it's still pretty good.

2:40 PM  

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